By Rose Brown
The call lasted barely six minutes and the weak network crackled as a mother asked the same familiar questions: “Have you eaten? How are your classes? Are you taking care of yourself?” Before long, the line went dead.
For many university students, moments like this have become a routine reminder that home is no longer just a place—it is a memory carried through phone calls, text messages, and old photographs. Behind lecture halls filled with laughter and busy campus activities are students quietly carrying the weight of homesickness, loneliness, and the emotional challenge of living far from the people who know them best.
While university life is often described as a journey toward independence, it also demands sacrifices that are rarely talked about. For students who study hundreds—or even thousands—of kilometres away from home, the distance is measured not only in kilometres but in missed birthdays, empty seats at family gatherings, and long nights when loneliness becomes impossible to ignore.
For Rose Lazarus, a 300-level Chemistry student at the University of Maiduguri, the journey from Hawul Local Government Area of Borno State has become much longer than it once was.
“It used to be just a few hours’ drive, but because of the insecurity it now takes almost a whole day,” she said.
The longest she has stayed away from home is seven months. Although she has adjusted to campus life, there are moments when the absence of family becomes overwhelming. She explained that she feels lonely, especially when there is no one to talk to or when she has no data to communicate with her family. “I am used to chatting and joking with my older siblings, so being all alone makes me feel miserable,” she said.
To cope, Rose relies on friends, social media and reading comic books. Despite the emotional struggle, she said living away from home has not affected her studies.
Instead, she believes the experience has made her stronger. “It taught me to rely on my own abilities, stand up for myself, prioritize myself, and made me realize I can do all that I set my mind on,” she said.
For Amos Williams Peter, a 300-level Mass Communication student, home is much farther away.
Originally from Osun State in southwestern Nigeria, he travelled across the country to study at the University of Maiduguri.
“It hasn’t been easy,” he said. “I miss my family, especially my mum. I have not seen them in two years.”
He explained that insecurity and the long distance have prevented him from travelling home after academic sessions.
“Maiduguri to Osun State is almost a two-day journey, and I can only afford to travel by land, not by air,” he said.
For many students like Amos, homesickness is not simply about missing familiar faces. It is also about knowing that visiting loved ones depends on finances, security, and circumstances beyond their control.
A similar experience is shared by Demian Dzelemo, a Medical Laboratory Science student from Makurdi, Benue State, approximately 920 kilometres from Maiduguri.
He has lived away from home for about four years.
Asked whether he has experienced homesickness, he answered without hesitation, “Definitely.”
He admitted that although adjusting to a new environment was not difficult, he missed his family, friends, familiar surroundings, and even “free meals from mama’s pot.” There were moments when he felt isolated and wished he could return home.
Over time, however, making new friends and participating in Christian fellowship activities helped him settle into campus life.
Demian believes living away from home has exposed weaknesses in how he manages his time, responsibilities and choices, but it has also helped him become more disciplined and accountable.
His advice to new students is to embrace the freedom that comes with university life while remaining responsible. He encouraged them to manage their time, finances, studies and relationships wisely, ask for help whenever necessary, and view mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow.
According to Dr. Rahila Jibrin, a lecturer and student adviser in the Department of Mass Communication, University of Maiduguri, living away from family does not automatically affect a student’s academic performance.
“It will not affect the student who is focused in the area of class attendance or participation in class. If the student went to a boarding school, he or she must have been used to being away from home for a number of months in a year. I don’t see being away from home in this light as having an effect on a student’s academic performance,” she said.
However, she noted that lecturers should be observant when students begin to show unusual behavioural changes.
“The signs are when a hardworking student starts turning in assignments late, not paying attention to lectures or not attending classes as expected. Or if the lecturer notices a student getting withdrawn or getting low grades,” she explained.
Dr. Jibrin also stressed that lecturers have a role to play in supporting students experiencing emotional distress.
“Depending on the lecturer’s relationship with the student, the lecturer can speak with the student to know what the matter is. If it can be handled at the lecturer’s, class coordinator’s or the HOD’s level, it should be. If it is a matter of counselling, the student adviser comes in to assist, or the student can be referred for counselling services which are available on campus, although many do not know they exist,” she said.
For thousands of students, university is more than lectures, assignments and examinations. It is where they learn independence, responsibility and resilience. Many discover how to cook, budget, solve problems and make important life decisions without the immediate presence of their parents.
Although loneliness often remains invisible, it quietly shapes their university experience. Yet, through the challenges of living far from home, many students also discover strengths they never knew they possessed.
Sometimes, growing up begins the moment home becomes far away.
